


It's Nine O'clock On A Saturday...

by Captain_Rachel



Category: Sherlock (TV), The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Crack, Gen, Humor, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-26
Updated: 2013-07-26
Packaged: 2017-12-21 10:13:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/899099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Rachel/pseuds/Captain_Rachel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy Lewis, Molly Hooper and Loki Laufeyson walk into a bar...</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Nine O'clock On A Saturday...

One night Darcy Lewis, Molly Hooper and Loki Laufeyson walk into a bar… well Molly Hooper walks into the bar. The young morgue attendant quickly surveys the place—which is only a few blocks away from St. Bart’s Hospital---before she claims one of the more secluded booths. Shortly after Molly sits down Loki Laufeyson and Darcy Lewis—who had met up in an alley a short distance from Avengers Tower—walk through the door of the bar and join Molly at said booth.

As the three women—well _technically_ two women and a Jöhtun who has magic-ed himself to look like a mortal woman—settled into the booth and order their first round of drinks a light rain begins to fall on the city. It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday, London is covered in a thick fog and someone has actually put money into the bar’s jukebox and requested Billy Joe’s “Piano Man”.

Loki, Molly and Darcy have an arrangement—every month they meet up and have drinks together. The location of these rendezvous rotates between semi-randomly chosen bars in London, New York and a city of Loki’s choosing (usually Paris or Rome). Loki provides the transportation and a bit of magical camouflage while Darcy and Molly take care of the tab. (Darcy is certain that Loki secretly pays for his drinks, or at least some of her drinks, but she’s never been able to prove this.) Every time the three meet up is slightly different—sometimes they talk while they drink and sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they drink till all three of them are horribly, ridiculously drunk and sometimes they don’t even drink enough to get a buzz. But no matter what, without fail, every single month, the three would drink together.

Everything had started with Darcy and Molly—Loki’s involvement was Molly’s fault. Well if you asked Darcy everything was Molly’s fault. If you asked Molly then she blamed Darcy while Loki… well the last time the two women had asked the Jöhtun for his opinion on the matter he had replied by spiking their drinks with something that made bubbles come out of their mouths when they tried to talk. But anyway, everything had started with Darcy and Loki… or more specifically with their parents.

You see Darcy Lewis and Molly Hooper are sisters—more exactly they are half-sisters. Their mother, Louise Dennings, had been born in Los Angeles, in the shadow of the Hollywood sign. When she was sixteen Louise had left home and started traveling… and she had never really stopped. Her wanderings, which took her around the world several times, had eventually led her to two young men, a British Doctor named John Hooper and an American whose Driver’s License identified him as Dean Lewis. The three’s friendship had evolved into a relationship that resulted in the two girls, who had each taken the name of the father whom they most resembled—so Molly had become a Hooper and Darcy a Lewis.

Even after giving birth to two daughters Louise hadn’t stopped traveling around the world, so as kids Molly and Darcy had split their time pretty evenly between John’s family manor in England and the various motels, cabins and run down houses that Dean and his family called home. Louise had the tendency to… well sort of drop off the face of the earth from time to time, leaving the girls in their fathers’ care and ensuring that each was the main female presence in the other’s life.

Eventually Molly had “settled down” in London, first to attend college then to work at St. Bart’s morgue. Darcy had lived with her sister before going off to attend college in the states at about the same time that Molly Hooper found herself helping the World’s Only Consulting Detective. By the time hat Molly was helping Sherlock Holmes fake his death Darcy Lewis was running around the desert of New Mexico, discovering secret government organizations and tazing the god of thunder.

Two years later—after aliens had tried to invade New York and after Sherlock came back from the dead—Molly was still working at St. Bart’s, while Darcy had managed to get recruited by SHIELD and ended up as some sort of official assistant to the Avengers. Things had seemed to be somewhat settled, both in New York and in London, so Darcy had invited Molly to stay with her in Avengers Tower for a week or two. Originally Darcy had planned on just sharing her very luxurious bed in her Avengers’ apartment with her sister—something they’d frequently done as children and young women, especially when they were living in America. However when Darcy had told Tony (via Pepper) that her sister was coming to visit the genius billionaire playboy philanthropist had somehow added a guest room to Darcy’s apartment while she was out having a girl’s day out with Jane, Pepper and Natasha.  (Darcy was _fairly_ certain  that Tony had just “stolen” the guest room from whoever’s apartment was next door to her’s… but one never could be certain with Tony Stark.) Tony had also sent one of Stark Industries’ jets to London to pick Molly up and deliver her to a private airstrip where Darcy was waiting for her in a black stretch limo. By the time that the sisters had gotten back to Avengers Tower the team was out, dealing with something down in Floridia, so Molly and Darcy had headed out on foot to find a restaurant for dinner and a bar to catch up on everything that had happened since the last time the two saw each other. The sisters had found themselves sitting in a booth that was on the opposite side of the bar’s entrance. The booth was small, pressed into a corner and positioned so that it had a good view of the rest of the bar while managing—thanks mostly to the lighting and position of the occupied stools around the bar—to be rather secluded. The bar was, for a Friday night in New York city, fairly empty—a few of the other booths were occupied, mostly by amorous couples who were deeply involved in flirting with each other and most of the activity in the bar was centered around a woman with long black hair who was sitting on a stool and focusing very intently on her drink… or at least she was _trying_ to focus on her drink.

Surrounding the woman were several young men who were obviously very drunk and very interested in the woman—who was wearing blue jeans and a green hoodie and refusing to even look at the men around her. The men, who seemed to be some sort of group, kept trying to buy the woman drinks—even though she never accepted and the bartender had stopped fulfilling their requests—and attempting to get her involved in some sort of conversation. One or two of the bolder/stupider of the group had even reached out and touched the woman’s shoulder or arm in an attempt to get her attention, only to have the woman shrug away.

About the third time one of the men did this Molly got a look in her eyes… a look that Darcy had last seen when one of her ex-boyfriends had made the mistake of breaking her heart while Molly was in town. Her sister had tossed some kind of stink bomb / normal explosive bomb into the guy’s apartment… while the guy was canoodling with the woman he’d cheated on Darcy with. As another man reached out towards the clearly disinterested black haired woman Molly had stood up and very calmly walked over to the group—with Darcy following hot on her heels, a smirk growing on her face as the two sisters approached the group.

Molly and Darcy had split the men between them, with one sister addressing half of the group. Darcy hadn’t heard the threats which Molly issued to her half and only dimly remembered mentioning that she’d tazed the god of thunder and a few other things which were probably classified by SHIELD… but the threats from both sisters seemed to have worked, since within what seemed like seconds the men had all turned a very interesting shade of green and scattered like sheep. As the men fled the sisters had turned towards the black haired woman and, with a smile on her face, Molly had offered to buy the woman a drink and asked her to join them in the booth.

For a second it seemed like the woman—who had green eyes and lips which seemed unnaturally red for someone who wasn’t wearing makeup—would refuse… but then she started to laugh. After a second the stranger covered her mouth with one hand and nodded in acceptance. As Darcy ordered another round for all three of them Molly and the woman had gone back to the booth—when Darcy joined them she found herself sitting with her sister, across from the woman, who was playing with the cherry in her apple martini as the three started idly chatting.

It wasn’t until sometime (and several drinks) later that Darcy realized that something was just ever so slightly off about the young woman sitting across from them—it was right around the time that the woman smirked, leaned forward and asked Darcy if she’d really tazed Thor. Molly had started laughing, while Darcy had found herself launching into a drunken retelling of how she and Jane had met Thor. The last thing Darcy remembered about that night—apart from Molly sharing several very amusing stories about John and Sherlock—was how hard the strange woman had laughed when Darcy had told her about how Thor had thought that ceiling cat was a real supernatural entity.

The next morning Molly and Darcy had woken up in their beds at Darcy’s apartment in Avenger’s tower… where there was a short note and a photograph sitting on the kitchen counter, next to two bottles of _very_ expensive alcohol. The photograph had obviously been taken by Darcy and depicted the three women leaning in over their drinks so that they could all fit in the photo—however there was something off about the dark haired woman, something very familiar that Darcy couldn’t put her finger on. Or at least something she couldn’t put her finger on until she read the note…or rather until she saw who had signed the note.

_As thanks for dealing with those “men” last night, please accept this gift._

_Loki_

Once she saw that name Darcy had realized why the dark haired woman looked so familiar—take away the breasts and “Midgardian” clothing and Loki looked exactly the same. Even with the magic that Loki had probably used the disguise was still pretty obvious.

“We got drunk with Loki.”  Darcy explained as she handed the letter over to her sister.

“Thor’s psychotic brother?” Molly asked as she inspected the note.

“Thor’s _adopted_ psychotic brother.” Darcy corrected.

“Who was a girl at the time.”

“Apparently.”

“How?” Molly asked as she put the letter back on the counter and leaned over her sister’s shoulder to inspect the bottle.

“Magic?” Darcy replied with a shrug.

The rest of Molly’s visit had gone smoothly, without any second appearance by Loki or visits from other villains. Eventually Molly had returned to London via a Stark jet and the two had gone back to their usual activities and schedules. In a slightly paranoid moment Darcy burned Loki’s note, although she kept her bottle of alcohol and ended up using the photograph as a book mark.

Then, about a month after their encounter with Loki another letter appeared on Darcy’s kitchen counter from the Jöhtun. This letter Darcy hadn’t memorized before she’d trashed it, however she remembered the general message—Loki had enjoyed drinking with the two women and very politely requested that it happen again. Right as she’d finished reading the letter Molly had called Darcy and informed her younger sister that she had received the exact same from the God of Mischif.

After a surprisingly short discussion the two had agreed to go out drinking with Loki again… and immediately found themselves sitting in a bar in a suburb of Paris, across the table from Loki, who was once again wearing the form of a mortal woman. This time his disguise was slightly more involved—while his female form was not very different from his usual male form and was obvious to Molly and Darcy, both could see how unnoticeable it was by anyone not aware of what was going on.

The night had been somewhat awkward, especially since Molly and Darcy had names, while they couldn’t really call Loki by his name without drawing attention, even in France. However after one or two drink things got a lot easier, especially when one of them (Darcy had forgotten who) started calling Loki “Eris” after the Greek god of Chaos. The next morning the two women had found themselves back in their respective beds, without the hangover they should have due to drinking entirely too much French wine.

It wasn’t until later that day that Molly and Darcy realized that they each had a text message on their phone. The message—which their phone identified as being from “Eris”—informed both women that they had an appointment to meet up the next month and that Molly was to choose the location of said meeting.

So at nine o’clock on a Saturday, at a bar in London, Darcy Lewis, Molly Hooper and Loki Laufeyson find themselves trying to hold back laughter as the Jhötun zaps the juke box so that it plays something a little more to the three’s liking. As a waitress sets down three drinks—beer for Darcy, some sort of martini for Loki and a rum and coke for Molly—the God of Mischif launches into a story about Thor’s misadventures when he’d first acquired Mjölnir.

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Notes: The name of Molly and Darcy's mom—Louise Dennings—is a combination of the actresses who play Molly (Louise Brealey) and Darcy (Kat Dennings). The first names of their father's were chosen by my friend (who helped inspire this story) and are references to our other fandoms, specifically Supernatural and Doctor Who.  
> This fanfiction started when my friend mentioned a fanfic she’d read in which Darcy was introducing Molly to Captain Jack Harkness… which somehow managed to make me think of Molly ad Darcy as siblings… which then ended up turning into them griping about their lives while getting drunk with Loki. Cause my mind works in hilarious strange ways.


End file.
